Blog 91 Lessons from Clients (Gary)

Maybe this book should be retitled "Coming Home."  My recent reflections and past writing help me to see how much I have been controlled by my little kid who grew up with scattered rewards, and now, today, in my practice I find people very scattered primarily due to the economy, but it makes me a little angry and frustrated, mirroring my own internal anger and frustration.  I am realizing there is nothing out there.

            I especially witnessed it with two clients.  One was raging about giving so much of himself (and his money) and not getting anything back.  We talked about his hurt little kid.  I could so join with him and laugh.  It's about the adult taking charge, and not deferring to his history of being the hurt child.

The other was a seventy-three-year-old man in one of my groups.  I have known him for over ten years.  He has been presenting more and more of his wisdom as he ages, most especially in the last two years.  It started happening as he began to lose his wife to Alzheimer's disease, and he had to manage everything.  He is now decompensating rapidly, and is in danger of losing his physical and mental functioning.  He has helped me feel the heart-wrenching agony of an adult wise man going away, gradually disappearing.

Therapy at $250 an hour is speeding my recovery along with the mirrors that are reflecting back all of the above. 

How much do you resist seeing yourself?  What tools or rituals do you have to avoid seeing and feeling?

BUY THE BOOK: walkingthehill.com