Blog 93 Finally, I Land at Moffett Field (Gary)
Finally, I Land at Moffett Field (Gary)
So to speak.
The California Guard has become an important part of my life, and has a new set of responsibilities attached to it.
My Colonel has set me up to be Liaison Officer to the Air National Guard (ANG) at Moffett Field, and I am encouraged by the Vice Commander to drill there. I ask for a transfer, which is up to my Colonel, and I assume he says yes, as I find myself not only trying to make things happen there, but I am introduced everywhere on base by the Wing Commander. Quickly, I find myself as Acting Commander responsible for building a new unit. I am shortly joined by an ex-cop, Chief of Police, and retired ANG noncommissioned officer (NCO). Joint Reception Staging and Onward Movement Integration (JRSOI) is our primary mission, which is to establish an operating area for first responders. This was made clear by the Wing Commander on our tour of the base. They need help on many different fronts to support this little city.
Since I have a great working relationship and friendship with Captain Albright, the A Company Commander, I, of course, want my old company, and a company commander to be in on the action, as well as be a supply of necessary soldiers to accomplish the mission. We set up our first training of twenty-one soldiers. The classroom is the “high bay” where they brought in bodies in body bags from Vietnam. A lot of the classroom is around Air Force Instructions, we used to call them Regulations, but okay. In the field portion of the training the soldiers learn when to use lethal force. I realized in watching that I had no desire to point a gun at anyone. Danger and excitement no longer filled a need the way they used to and there is the reality of pain and dying. Getting shot at meant nothing when I was young. Movies and video games can do that to you.
Just before lunch one of the younger trainers told us about his cross-fit training, and invited the soldiers to come out and participate. He said he was intensely involved in cross-fit, and not weight lifting, because it was the best form of training to allow him to carry a buddy out if he needed to. Somehow that was the contrast to the “body bag” image I had in my mind, and the higher order of why I was there. It was somehow healing to hear. I guess because it was about living and loving your brothers. We have a mission to protect our citizens but also a passion to protect our brothers and sisters in combat. I am all over that. Not enough was or is done to take care of those who are willing to give their life for their country. We are a rescue unit after all.
I am clearly here to Rescue others and My Self. I have landed. I am home.
I am here to cut the cords of others, and honor my wholeness and light and connection to the universe. I am no longer alone. My old way of being was to connect to others’ needs, and thus not feel alone. I found a way not to feel alone by identifying with others’ needs. I then didn’t feel alone but at the same time it cost me a portion of myself, my light, my personal power. From here on I am of a spirit of light connected to the universe and all its power. I don’t give up myself to have it. It was a way not to feel alone. But the cost was high.
I no longer need others’ needs to not feel alone. I am whole unto myself. I can help myself and others far better as a whole spiritual person than one who needs the injuries of others to not feel alone and in control of my fear.
How much and in what ways do you cover up your needs?
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